Anxiety is more than just feeling nervous. It’s the body’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe.” For many people, anxiety is a learned response, shaped by past experiences, stress, or uncertainty. It’s not about being dramatic or overreacting. It’s about trying to stay safe in a world that sometimes feels overwhelming.

With care, patience, and the right tools, anxiety can be managed. If someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, here are some everyday ways you can support them, without needing to “fix” anything.

1. Be a steady presence

You don’t need to have all the answers. Just being there can make a big difference. Sit with them while they talk, or even while they say nothing at all. You can offer to do something simple together, like sharing a quiet moment, doing a small task side by side, or spending time in a familiar, calming space. These everyday actions can help create a sense of safety and connection without needing to say much at all.

Try saying: “I’m here with you” or “We can take this one step at a time.”

2. Let them lead the conversation

When someone is anxious, they may not always want advice. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard. Before offering suggestions, ask what kind of support they want in that moment. This helps them feel respected and in control of their own experience.

You can ask: “Would it help if I just listened, or would you like some ideas?”

3. Use gentle language

Anxiety often pulls people into “what if” thinking. Gentle, present-focused words can help bring them back to the here and now. Remind them that they are safe, that you care, and that it’s okay to take things slowly.

Try saying:

“It’s okay to feel this way.”

“You’re not alone in this.”

“We’ll figure it out together.”

4. Offer support without pressure

Sometimes, people with anxiety feel guilty for needing help. Keep your support low-pressure and open-ended. A simple message or invitation can go a long way, especially when it doesn’t come with expectations.

You might say: “No pressure at all, but I’d love to see you if you’re up for it.”

5. Normalize seeking support

Counselling can be a powerful tool, but it’s important to approach the topic gently. If you have your own positive experiences of counselling and feel comfortable sharing, that may help them feel more open to the idea. Speak from a place of curiosity and care and avoid language that sounds like a command.

Try:

“Would you be open to talking to someone about this?”

“I’ve heard counselling can really help. I’d be happy to support you if you want to try.”

6. Understand how anxiety might show up

Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic. It can show up as needing to control plans, asking the same questions repeatedly, or withdrawing from conversations. These behaviours are often ways of trying to feel safe, not signs of being difficult or distant.

Try to separate the person from the anxiety. This is something they are experiencing, not who they are.

7. Respect your own limits

Supporting someone with anxiety can be meaningful, but you also need to pay attention to your own needs. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to set a boundary while still showing care.

You might say: “Thank you for opening up to me. I want to support you. I’m feeling really tired tonight. Can I call you in the morning?”

Boundaries are not rejection. They are part of healthy, lasting support.

8. Understand that anxiety is something you can work through

Anxiety is often a learned way of coping with stress or fear. But what’s learned can also be unlearned. With time, support, and the right tools, people can build a safer, more balanced relationship with the world around them.

You don’t have to fix everything. Just showing up with kindness and patience can be one of the most powerful things you do.

If anxiety is becoming difficult to manage, talking to a counsellor can be a helpful next step. Professional support can offer tools, guidance, and a safe space to work through what you're experiencing.

Information for this blog was provided by registered social worker, Che Burnett.

8 Everyday ways to support someone with anxiety