Making friends as an adult can feel strange. It’s this mix of craving connection, fearing awkward moments, and wishing it were as simple as it was when we were kids. Instead of friendships forming naturally just because we were around each other all the time— classrooms, neighbourhoods, teams — adulthood asks us to be intentional. And that can feel intimidating.

The good news? Building meaningful friendships is absolutely possible. It just takes a bit of intention, courage, and a willingness to start small. Here are seven gentle, realistic ways to begin.

1. Get clear on what kind of friendship you’re looking for

Before you meet new people, take a moment to ask yourself: What kind of connection do I want?

Are you hoping for:

someone to share a hobby with?
a deeper, more vulnerable friendship?
casual, easygoing company?
a small circle or a big one?

Knowing what you’re looking for helps you notice when a friendship fits and protects you from feeling discouraged when it doesn’t.

2. Follow your interests — connection grows faster when you share something

When you meet people tied to things you already enjoy, the groundwork for connection is already there.

That might look like:

a running club
a climbing gym
a creative workshop
a volunteer group
a book club
a local class

Shared interests remove some awkwardness and give you a natural starting point for conversation.

3. Start small (really small) to build confidence

If the idea of initiating feels intimidating, begin with tiny social moments.

For example:

ask your barista how their morning is going, instead of just ordering
say hello to a neighbour
ask a coworker a genuine question to get to know them better
give a genuine compliment

These micro-interactions are easy, low-pressure, and they give you a sense of accomplishment. And when you make them a habit, they can open the door to deeper connection over time.

4. Treat friendship-building like dating (minus the romance)

Friendships need compatibility too. You can really like someone and still not be a great fit as close friends — maybe your schedules don’t align, your social needs differ, or your lifestyles don’t match.

Seeing friendship through this lens helps you:

take rejection less personally
stop blaming yourself when something doesn’t click
notice when relationships do feel natural and mutual

5. Reach out to people already in your life

You don’t always have to start from scratch. Sometimes the path toward connection begins with the people you already know — acquaintances, coworkers, old classmates, neighbours.

Try:

inviting someone to join you for a walk
asking a coworker to grab lunch
sending a message to someone you enjoyed chatting with once

6. Try platforms designed to help adults meet new people

There are online spaces created specifically to help adults connect — whether through shared interests, group activities, or one-on-one meetups. Using these tools isn’t strange or desperate; it can be a practical way to meet others who are also looking to build friendships.

At the same time, it’s important to approach these platforms with care. Like many online spaces, they can carry safety risks, and not everyone uses them with good intentions. Trust your instincts, take your time getting to know someone, and choose public or group settings when meeting in person. Moving at a pace that feels safe for you matters just as much as putting yourself out there.

What can make these platforms helpful is that many people using them share the same goal: connection. When used thoughtfully and safely, they can reduce some of the uncertainty around reaching out and help open the door to new relationships.

7. Expect friendship to take time — and let that be okay

As adults, our lives are full: work, family, schedules, energy levels. Friendships don’t snap into place the way they once did. They grow slowly — interaction by interaction, shared moment by shared moment. Slow-building relationships are often the strongest. Give things room to unfold.

Loneliness often motivates people to seek new friendships, and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Loneliness is universal — we all feel it sometime and naming it is the first brave step toward changing it.

If you’re struggling with where to start, counselling can help you explore what kind of connection you want and build confidence in seeking it.

Information for this blog was provided by registered social workers Sarah Rosenfeld and Rasha Taha.

7 simple tips for making friends as an adult